Here are the bops to get you through the first week of April (!):

Calvin Harris & Co. – “Heatstroke”


  • So that’s why Ariana Grande’s name appears last. Grande’s feature in “Heatstroke” is more of a Tall, if anything (a Really Original Starbucks metaphor btw).
  • Ari’s contribution to the retro dance summer number is an underwhelming repetition of the same two lines during the refrain, plus a few drowned out adlibs thrown into the mix for good measure.
  • “Heatstroke” could have been a lot better if Grande sang the verses, had Pharrell Williams joining her for the chorus, and a rap segment from Young Thug.

Cheat Codes feat. Demi Lovato – “No Promises”CheatCodesDemiLovatoNoPromises.png

  • Lovato doesn’t blow our wigs off with her powerhouse vocals.
  • The song’s got a cute Chainsmokers-y drop and pleasant enough lyrics/melodies, which should be enough to get this into the Top 40. No promises though, and don’t @ me if it doesn’t.

Mary J. Blige feat. Kanye West – “Love Yourself”


  • The Queen of soul and pain music returns with this empowering anthem, from her upcoming LP Strength of a Woman, which hears her spinning RuPaul’s famous self-love mantra into a gritty, brassy, five minute bop.

Becky Hill – “Rude Love”


  • Becky with the Good Bops’ next smash, following “Warm”.
  • Not, in fact, a cover of the iconic f(x) bop of the same name.
  • Warm string synth opening leads to a spacey, atmospheric verse which excitingly explodes into “Rude Love”’s shining moment – those demented chorus synths.

Anton Powers feat. Pixie Lott – “Baby”


  • An elegant string-fueled, on trend house bop almost guaranteed to propel Pixie Lott, the British diva of yesteryear, away from flogging hair chalks and back onto the airwaves in 2017.

Billie Eilish – “Bored”


  • You’ll be anything BUT bored while appreciating more angelic harmonizing, more amazing sounds, and more witty lyrics from the new Queen of mature teen pop.

Janine – “Don’t Love Me”


  • “Don’t Love Me” sounds very much like an R&B song from the mid-00s, which it obviously isn’t because it was released today, March 31st 2017.

Catherine McGrath – “When I’m Older”


  • Another acoustic country bop from the sugary voiced Nashville-via-Ireland’s Catherine McGrath.

VÉRITÉ – “When You’re Gone”


  • Fusing soft synth breakdowns with horror movie-esque soundscapes, “When You’re Gone” is gloriously more fucked up than a group of teens on a four day acid bender.

Sofi de la Torre – “$”


  • Torre continues pushing her #popdoneright movement forward with another smooth and ‘sofi’sticated bop (#LetThereBePuns2017).

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